There..always there, that silly smile. That tinkling laugh.

The white and grey sky stretching beyond.

I don’t remember you…nothing at all..about you.

but that one moment,

That moment like a black foggy photograph, the stillness of that moment

grilled and burnt into my memory

taking away the blissful peace of my ignorant brain

destroying the swirling calmness of my innocent heart

YOU left and you’re still here

You left and I was happy

Happy because I wouldn’t have to feel your lingering laughter

The echoes of which still make my skin shudder

I did not have to look at the familiar scar above your pink lip anymore

I did not have to notice the shape of your lips anymore

Nor do I have to compliment the loose hair falling on your shoulder

You shook them thinking that they were beautiful waves calling out to me with long-lost secrets

there were snakes on Medusa’s head

that blue kurta with the tinkling silver bells

and grey jeans are branded into my memory

do not for even a moment remind me of the turquoise sunlight that had cheerfully

spread over the scarlet yellow tree under which we sat.

your memory…reminds me of cold

cold and dark..cold like a block of black ice that can never melt

and darkness that blinds me,makes me loose my path

your words, your actions, your every sound

I have destroyed

Your smell…when you leaned into me was the scent of the

black liquid of death ,it was poison to me

a helpless fool I was that I reveled in it

but cannot anymore

the craving to take in all your venom,to inhale all your poison has left me

your image in my head spreads like a disease-contagious,rotting and decaying

infecting my senses with the disgusting odor of your being-of you

being in my life.your being-your proof of existence is like that white

dupatta which you wore- reminds me of mourning.

not even the mourning that lets me rest

the mourning which silences my screams even as

it cuts into my skin

and tightens…

tightens with me struggling against the deep red gash forming

across my neck.i have burnt all the painful shards of your memory.

I cannot remember anything now, except that …one moment

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