Originally Published on March 18, 2011
“Ye dosti hum nahi toddenge,

Toddenge dum magar tera saath naa chhoddenge…”

Think of friendship and the first song that strikes my mind is none other than this iconic one from the hindi blockbuster ‘Sholay’, which talks about keeping a friendship even in the face of death. The emotional blend of apt lyrics and charismatic picturisation just steals your heart away !

It is said that nothing in life is constant except change. Those changes reflecting the different stages of our lives are the friendships that come and go over the years. They are like precious jewels in the cherished chain of memory. We can grasp each in turn, almost like a rosary, and remember the person, the circumstances, the good times and the not-so-good times that we shared with them.

Whenever while surfing through TV channels, I stumble upon a yet another episode of ‘FRIENDS’ or ”HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL’, cheesy thoughts arise. The cliched phrase, “friends forever” has always been scribbled over slam-books, tees etc, and school was where we started worshipping  it. But as we grow up, we tend to realise that most friends end up being in the ‘lost’ flock. It is exceptionally heart-breaking, when suddenly you and your once best friend stare at each other over a coffee blankly, scratching one’s head trying to hit on a conversation, and then you wonder, “What happened…where did we go wrong ?”.

When we are kids, we form relationships based on very superficial things because we ourselves are so shallow in these formative years. And when we are young and pretty dumb, friends are chosen based on what they wear, where they live, or what clique they belong to. This is digestible till the time we’re in the cocoon of  high school, but friendships like these tend to dissipate as we get older.  On turning into more three-dimensional human beings, we discover that some of our friends no longer gel well with our own personalities. At times, just being biased to fond past memories, we try to hang on to some friendships like indulging in forwarding e-mails and text messages to people we don’t necessarily want to keep in our lives. Honestly, raise your hands, how many of you have sent a SMS to a ‘friend’ just because you didn’t actually want to ‘talk’ to them ?  How many of you call old friends deliberately on dates and times, you actually know that they won’t be available, to flee away with the ‘credit’ for the call without having to have an actual human to human conversation ? Well…I can actually see some hands ! If technology has bridged the gap, it has widened it as well, at some places.

Every time I look back, I do ask myself, “how many friendships have I been able to keep ?” or “how many friendships have been able to keep me rather ?’. Three years after passing out school, things have indeed moulded differently. Got into an engineering college, moved to another state, shifted to a hostel…hostel, yeah ! not a big deal for quite many, but for me, it was. I’m indeed very lucky to be blessed with a choir of angels. We fight with each other, but most of the time, for each other. And that’s the beauty !

It may seem pessimistic, but we shouldn’t be plagued with friendships. Of course, one should treasure ones friends dearly, however, whenever things start to go downhill, one should try to just let go and move with the flow. There are times, when you’re the only one trying too hard to keep a bond but, what’s the point when the other side doesn’t value or even notice the effort !

The bottom line is, be grateful to the people who’ve come into your life and have rendered something worth remembering and that’s the reason they were or are called ‘friends’ .


Disha Virk

SSG Panjab University Regional Campus




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