In the middle of a race, I suddenly stood still to take a look around. Why am I even running this race ? Only to realize I am running towards something that I actually began the race with. I am running in a loop going round and round. I am running this race only to reach the start that I just so passed it. What kind of irony is this ?
Sometimes, suddenly perspective changes…sometimes, pretext to the context changes and sometimes, it happens in such drastic way that everything even the basic things in life begins to be questioned. Things that mattered before don’t matter anymore, things that didn’t matter before matter so much now. Life seems to be full of voids and yet moving forward only to encounter more of them, full of questions yet moving forward only to encounter more of them and full of loops yet moving forward only to encounter more of them. It seems like I can only jump from one loop to another loop but can’t get out of one. Even jumping from one loop to another loop itself is in a loop.
Often I wonder, if I should waste my time finding answers to the questions. Answers…if they really exist ? Should I waste time understanding why there are voids ? Should I waste time finding loops ? (of course in the O(n) time complexity – could it get any better ?) In the pretext of life, for some context everything seems so right and perfectly aligned making sense for every bit and for some context same things makes no sense. So I seriously started to question the questions if they are really the questions or the forefended things in a misplaced context ?
A friend once said, ‘Live the Questions !’…maybe it makes sense, maybe living the questions makes sense, maybe there will be a time when answers to all these questions doesn’t matter, maybe there will be a time when all these questions itself doesn’t matter, maybe there will be a time when voids get voided.
I am not sure of all the questions I encounter or live with, I am not sure of all the voids that are out there, I am not sure of the loops that go round and round but I believe in the hope that time will solve them. The same way I believe that earth will always go around the sun rotating in its own axis, bringing day after every night, bringing spring after every summer (of course till Sun runs out of hydrogen and helium becoming a neutron star sucking the earth and finally becoming a black hole !)
After analyzing so much I am starting to believe that it so matters less what I believe in as long as I completely believe in what I believe in. Everything will be resolved by the belief system that I believe in as long as I completely believe in what I believe in. Anyways, my point is – all the questions or voids or loops are merely transient!Let me live them with the belief that time will solve them…