Life is beautiful, universe is wonderful, it has so many things in it some seen and some hidden for me to discover and cherish.

I keep thinking this way, that everything around is or will be for good, everything is wonderful…

But then sometimes I think who am I kidding?

Life is crap, universe is crap, I solve one crap and universe gives me 10 more crap to deal with. If solving crap leads to more crap, then why bother solving the first one?

I remember quote from Van wilder one of my favorite movie, “Never take life too seriously, for it you might forget to live it”. If I give a crap about all the craps universe puts before me, I might as well give away my life solving these craps. All my life I have been fed on crap, loads of crap or more like I looked for crap to feed on. I have been learning to learn new lessons. Learning from things, correcting myself, getting better at things, imagining perfection. But then all for what?

I believe in positivity, I believe in good thoughts, I believe in universe, I believe in sending out good thoughts into the world for it will come back as good and make everything around more beautiful. But then I think of it, it all makes no sense, what a total crap. Thoughts and more thoughts will only create delusions around which makes it easy to take on things and if not deal with them but look at them the way it can be easier to absolve and make peace with it.  Taking me away from reality, deluding me away from reality. But then reality is relative… isn’t it?

Like in math, anything that I multiply 0 with is 0 always, so (1/0)*0 is 0. Or anything that I multiply and divide by the same number remains unchanged (1/0)*0 is 1. What a crap? What am I missing? Defining things? Look for meaning, for I understand the meaning now, for there is no meaning than what I give the meaning a meaning that it should mean to be. I need to define things else there is nothing to take a reference to. There is nothing to connect the meaning to, which makes it meaningless. I have been searching for meaning, for it never exists, for it never matters, I have to give it a meaning not search for it. I need to define the ways, without which anything and everything can be interpreted as anything or everything or nothing.

Universe is relative, everything is relative, and it is me who as to put in place the frame of reference for it to define everything I do. There is no good or bad, there is no right or wrong, there is no beautiful or crap, everything is relative, everything depends on how I see it. Life sucks, sure it does. Everyone’s life sucks, sure it does. Some live in denial, some are too dumb to realize, some are too sweet and innocent to understand, but for sure everyone’s life sucks – some have realized it and some are yet to realize. It is the reference that I put, it is the meaning that I give that gives me a reason to take on the crap, to fight the universe’s crap and to live through the crap.

I am nobody when I see me from the perspective of Milky Way galaxy or beyond, I am not even a small dust particle. But when I take the frame of reference to me then whole universe revolves around me.  Isn’t relativity beautiful? Giving meaning to everything or is relativity crap? Taking away meaning from everything.  Let me see everything from the reference originating with me, let me see crap as crap and beautiful as beautiful, for which crap will have its value so will the beautiful. Let me be judgmental, let me define things, let me give meanings, let me bring in the absolute reality in the context of relative me and learn to deal with it than to make everything relative and delude me away from reality.

Let stars revolve around me, let the universe revolve around me, let me be me.

Well life is beautiful, Universe is wonderful if I see it as me.

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