Friendship: It has different definitions for different people. I have my own too. The vary topic seems a bit cliché to talk about or even discuss, as lots has already been said about it with time. But by this article, I would like to throw some light upon the modulated and manipulated definitions of friendship.
The very quote, “Friend in need is a friend indeed”. Does it say that it applies to your close friends or your best friends? No. Then, why is it that, the every other person that you know you call your friend but, can’t expect them to be with you in need? So, does that mean this fake world has reached to a stage where, you are totally aware that your “friend” next to you, will not be there with you when needed, but still are a friend and its totally fine, because that’s how things work? Because that’s how you know you can be more social? Now, many people might say to this that we are just being well-mannered. Well, is that the only way to be sweet, that is, to create an aura of artificial politeness around you? There are a lot of such questions I come across, may be would be able to address some of them by this write up.
Some might infer from my statements above that I am asking them to be rude to the people they are not really close to. Well, I am not asking for that. You have acquaintances too. You meet people you greet them or even help them if needed, but that doesn’t mean you are friends. May be some might not even understand why are we having this discussion at the first point, but I guess things might get clear as we proceed.
A very well known, yet a little mean fact is that friendships start because of a reason. Then, the question arises, what is the difference between, what people call friendship these days and actual friendship? Well, yes it’s true you start talking to someone for a reason initially, but the difference is that after sometime no one remembers what the reason was. These days, people have different friends for different interests. Some to roam around with, some to share their feelings with, some to make them do home works and some just to tease.
Well, just one question, you are always with or you share things with the people you are comfortable, so how come these strict boundaries be drawn amongst them? Well, the only reason I can think of is because; true sense of friendship is not really realized. May be as the world is progressing in the field of technology and machines, the people controlling it have also transformed into one.
There is this quote which I read in one of the Archie Gallery: “Friends are the family you choose for yourself”; and it is what I also believe. Do you expect your family to be with you only when you want to go out or when you want something? The answer is no. They are with you all the time. They scold you, prevent you from doing wrong and there is no reason or some beneficial motive behind it. Same goes for friendship.
Sometimes, people think, we are friends today, but what will happen after say 5 years or 10 years from now. They might not be as available and as close as they are now. So, it’s wrong with your friend if you get close to them. Then, I would say, friendship is the only relation that doesn’t fade away with time gap. The situations today might favor talking and spending good amount of time together, but conditions tomorrow might not.
You talk to your friend even after a long gap of like 4 years, and you will start from where you had ended or should I say where you had left it, because it never ends.
At least for me, friendship is what you are at the present moment with that person. Tomorrow, you both might not have time to even look at each other, but somewhere in your heart you will always know that there is this person I can always call if I have some problem. And if not even that, you will have a lot of beautiful memories to cherish. Some people even think that what If they change after that amount of time. Well, that’s the beauty of it. It doesn’t matter; the other person would have another close group already with them at that time. And even if you change it’s not a bad thing. Your friend would understand that situations and mind sets change with life experiences. The only time he would remember for his lifetime would the one, when you were together.
But, apart from all this, these days’ people with selfless friendship are ignored a bit and the fake ones are accepted easily. One of the main reasons is that maybe they are “always” fun to be with, because they can fake that too. And other reason might be that even if you talk to someone just for work, the other person would also understand it, as his reason is also the same. And when they will not do anything for the other person in which they were not involved, they will not feel guilty of it. While on the other hand, if you are with a person with selfless motives, even if that person might not expect anything in return, but that guilt would kill you. Overall, today it’s easy for the fakes to be more social and have “friends” then the selfless once.
To conclude, I would just say that the definitions have been modulated and people might have changed, but true friendship still exists. Sometimes, seeing all this people think, changing themselves according to the society might be the best option, but that is the worst you could do to yourself. You are special because you are not one of them. And may be, there are just a few such people left, but whatever the number is, they still make you realize that there is a reason why you didn’t change.