As vital, it might seem, forgiving someone is hard, it really is. Letting go the inflicted pain that made us cry for days or months or even years is hard. But some people have an easy time doing that too. They’ll forgive easily and get over in life. Do they have a very big heart? Or what is it that makes them different from us?
1The value the person has in your life
Forgiving someone is never easy, at least for me, it isn’t. But we all still end up forgiving the people we love. It’s all about the value and position we give them in our lives. I have seen many people hating someone for something they did, but accepting someone else doing the same thing in a larger magnitude. My ex hated me so much for back bitching about him, and he repeated it twice or thrice that I had done something very bad and it was the worst thing he ever faced. But when the girl he loved did the same thing, he was fine with it. Forgiving or not forgiving is a distant thing, I don’t know if he was even upset with her. It’s all based on the position we give you certain people in our life. If someone else scolds or slaps me outside, I can go hating and not forgiving that person for a really long time, but if my mother does so, I’ll end up forgiving her no matter what.
2The people with very strong determination
There are some people who are so much determined about the ethical things and karma that they are able to forgive or let go the wrongs done to them. I remember a woman forgiving the people who killed her family by saying they were unaware of what they did. Maybe she was too much of an ascetic person, but without the firmness of determination and her thoughts, I doubt if anyone ever will be able to do that. I have a friend, who, one day, happened to tell me about a guy who wronged her four years ago. While telling that to me, she had tears in her eyes, but she told me she’s okay with it. After all, she can’t force anyone to be loyal to her. I was astonished, if I was in her place, I would have done tons of melodrama, complaints and what not. I would have never behaved so mature and strong.
3When the people have worse going on in their lives
There are people who come out every day as really jolly and gregarious, like nothing is wrong with their lives. I remember my friend telling me repeatedly in school that she’s jealous of me because I’m always so happy and there’s nothing at all wrong with my life. Little did she know that some people hide it better than most of us. Well, I didn’t have any pain as such but there are people who do. One friend of mine had so much personal issues that anyone bullying her or saying anything outside hardly mattered to her. She never stayed mad and ended up forgiving them even without them apologizing. The reason was that she had seen bigger pain than it and was able to forgive and forget the little ones. Not everyone has this strength or heart.
4When we ourselves had committed some mistakes like that
When someone does us wrong, we end up accepting that and forgiving them because we ourselves had made similar mistakes some time in our lives. We know how hard is it to not being forgiven in return and how painful it was on our sides to commit that at the first place. I never used to mind the little fights or anyone screaming at me in anger because I tried to understand what they might be going through. I had done that too and I knew no-one does it happily or intentionally. And I knew what it is like not to be forgiven, so I always let it go.
5When you’ve studied too much psychology
While reading the books of psychology and facts, sometimes we see an internal change wherein we try to understand the behaviour of people and so end up forgiving them. I used to do this a lot, but now I’ve started telling me that there are many people who’ve faced it worst but not reacted in that manner. Maybe, it’s not always about the situations or the pain they faced, but more about the kind of people they are.
Whatever the reason might be, forgiving someone is always necessary because holding on to pain damages only us, we must let go to grow in our lives. Until you make peace with your past, you can’t embrace the present and the future.