I am a student at a premier engineering college and I need not say with premier expectations and fat-fetched routes to success fuellinging my deranged mind, I have become a man full of junk and an aimless wanderer still in search of my final abode.
YES, I had awesome college experiences starting from first year to the final year, I lived a blissful life, masti chai and sutta was the regular and common thread of life then. Oh yes I got into a relationship too… man, what amazing days were those then. But it was matter of time when one phone call from my humble Dad whom I have utmost respect for, asked me a question “WHAT NEXT?” and I am still at that same crossroad where I was 4 years before speechless and embarrassed that I failed him, I failed my family, my relatives, everyone. With GRE, IAS, GMAT, CAT and fuckin’ placements tensions all over then, I never faced such helplessness before.
I’ll tell you, it’s not the exams that we fear, it’s the failures, the embarrassment that tends to scare the hell out of you and one thing we tend to lose in an engineering college apart from our lungs’ ability to function is our capacity to take risks, too afraid to step out of our bubble that we crafted ambitiously with our parents’ hard work.
I am not being hard on myself just because I couldn’t achieve what I longed for. I am just being a prudent person now, wondering how else I can bring my life in order so that I again go and live into that blissful bubble but this time with my own hard work.